French bank denied on Bastille Day.

A historic win for France was guillotined at the death on Bastille Day by a Portuguese mercenary for the corporate American team of one of French cycling's biggest enemies.
Shockwaves crossed the whole of l'Hexagone as what could have been a perfect celebration of French capitalism on July 14 came crumbling to the ground like the walls of an old pre-Revolutionary prison in Paris.
With honorary French citizen Vasili Kiryienka of Belarus poised to give the Spanish team sponsored by French bank Caisse d'Epargne a good return for their money, Sergio Paulinho, wearing the colours of the much-reviled RadioShack outfit, stuck two fingers up at the livelihood of French citizens, especially those benefiting from the semi-cooperative bank's attractive pension programme.
Outrage was felt across the whole of France and it wasn't long before a statement was issued from the Elysee Palace. "The President feels this has been a deliberate ploy for the Americans, via a foreign agent, to undermine the interests of France," said 5ft 2in spokesman Justin Temps.
"It was Bastille Day and - putain de merde - victory should have been handed to Caisse d'Epargne on a plate," he added.
Footballer Thierry Henry, speaking from the US as he signed on for the New York Red Bulls, said: "I can't believe it. I would have handled the situation very differently. After all, Kiryienka had the va-va-voom."
French financial experts are already speculating on an intentional move from Lance Armstrong - read America - to sabotage the French banking system on a day when the whole of the nation was sozzled on red wine and glued to the TV screens to watch stage 10 of their national race.
"The moment that Paulinho won the stage saw a rush on the shares of major French companies such as La Vache Qui Rit and Brioches La Boulangere," said Jerome Kerviel, vice executive director for the pedalling arm of the French banking union.
Reverberations were felt across the peloton too. "I'm gutted," said Christophe Moreau, current CEO of the Caisse d'Epargne team. "I have a high-interest savings account with Caisse and now its value will plummet. I'll have to go on even more totally pointless and inopportune breakaways just to earn enough winter fuel money to tide me over till next summer."
At the end of the day, however, cynics say this whole hoo-ha could have been avoided had a bona fide French rider actually managed to get into the day's breakaway from the outset, and then gone on to win.
Pierre Rolland of Bbox Bouygues Telecom and AG2R's Maxime Bouet had joined the initial five-man breakaway on the seemingly interminable stage, but they were always up against it after sapping their strength before the day's three climbs.
Bouet was first to crack, clearly paying for the extra effort he made to nick in ahead of the peloton at the end of the incident-crazed stage two, won by compatriot Sylvain Chavanel. As for Rolland, he just fizzled out like a group of Frenchmen in South Africa.
Quote of the day #1: "Do the American people feel like this is a good use of their tax dollars? That's for them to decide. I've done too many good things for too many people." Lance Armstrong hits back as the US Federal investigation continues.
Quote of the day #2: "What a day. Hard crash in the start - some tool dumped it in front of me and I had nowhere to go. Arm swollen and hurt like hell all day." Robbie McEwen tweets his frustrations.
Word of the day:  Kiryienkad - adj. to be swallowed whole and in a voracious manner. Eg. Eric Wimp just completely kiryienkad that banana, did you see?
Stage 11 prediction:   The 184.5km slog through France's backwater has been labelled the easiest of the Tour and both starts and finishes in first-time Tour towns - so we can reasonably expect a maiden Tour victory from a sprinter such as Tyler Farrar?
That said, the finish town Bourg-les-Valence is one of the first towns to make electric bicycles available to its residents. Seeing that Fabian Cancellara already has such an advantage, the Swiss should hold the cards. Interestingly, the race passes through the shoemaking town of Die, which raises the morbid question, who will be the first rider to die?
Plat du jour: Start with a creamy Banon goat's cheese tart topped with local truffles, follow it with a gigot d'agneau (Sisteron is renowned for its exceptionally tender lamb), finish with a tarte tatin made from the area's sweet apples. To drink try a glass of the famous Clairette de Die sparkling wine and for afters, some rich Roseaux du Rhone chocolates.
Peloton prattle: Which rider has vowed to take on the mantle of Vladimir Karpets and come back to next year's race with a mullet to savour?